NOW HEAR THIS: A semi stream of consciousness rant.

NOW HEAR THIS: Women are supposed to be the softer of the two genders. Curvaceous, even. We have hormonal cycles and our weight fluctuates (ever see a commercial for Pamprin or Midol? Yeah. It’s like that.)

So, given all these facts it drives me kind of crazy that the immediate question when some people see a picture like the one to the left of Jennifer Love Hewitt out on a beach just hanging out is, “Like, OMIGAWD you think she’s pregs?!”

Seriously. WHAT THE HELL?! The girl looks like a normal chick to me! It’s no wonder the self-image of teenage girls in this country is so warped, that our culture is so lipo-and-botox obsessed, and that we’ve got people literally dying to be thin. Apparently having a big lunch or a little pre-period bloat equates with incubating within!

It’s a sad, sick world where a woman can’t look like a woman without being picked apart.

Another example: Take America Fererra, the lovely star of TV’s Ugly Betty.

In the pages of this month’s edition of Glamour Magazine, they tout her as a “real-life beauty”. So, if they’re all about her being built like a “woman”, why did they Photo-chop her down by a good 25 pounds or so for the cover?

Color me confused… and color them hypocritical.

The irony of it all is that the very quickest to judge are those with no perspective or sense behind it.

I mean, going back to the J. Lo Hew case, I get it that celebrity gossip bloggers are supposed to express themselves to an extreme end, but come on… someone who looks like THIS (below, in the Elvis getup, of course) is the critic? It’s got to be a joke.

Furthermore, someone who’s a hanger-on, wannabe starf*cker if there ever was one (yeah – the Marshmallow Man look alike above is the blogger in question) has a right to call someone ELSE who actually is WORKING and has a semi-successful show on network TV desperate? Spare me.

(SIDEBAR: I’m not a big J. Lo Hew fan. I’ve actually never even watched her show, which is apparently about ghosts and is on CBS. All I know is that it’s been on for a while and it gets decent ratings… and that J. Lo Hew is a cute girl.)

Anyhow, bottom lines:

1) Girls are supposed to have all sorts of bumps, lumps, curves, and turns. These are RARELY indicative of pregnancy and are OFTEN indicative of a happy, healthy, and feminine female.

2) Fashion magazines should pick a stance and go with it. If your ilk is that of the Amazonian model, then fine – it is what it is. But if you want to talk about “real girls, show them to us in their REAL form. Take your hands off your mice and trackballs and appreciate the female form.

3) This is really a separate thing… but… I just read that Jennifer Hudson accepted a role as Sara Jessica’s assistant in the upcoming SEX AND THE CITY movie!!! Another score for the ladies rockin’ lumps!

WORK IT!